I have disappeared so to speak. The course has become unlike anything I would have imagined but I know I am in His will and it is nice. God is so faithful and even though I know only the blood of Christ makes me worthy I sigh at how He is faithful and gives grace when I don't deserve it in my eyes. Jesus loves me. I am blown away by His love and goodness. I hope I can make Him proud but weep at knowing He simply loves me even in my weakness. Selah...
I had these thoughts when I moved here after years of youth ministry and being a youth pastor that I would slip into the crowds and become a "normal person." It reminded me of Spiderman 2 when he tosses his costume away and decides to live his life and just be like everyone else. It seemed like a good idea and i enjoyed it briefly but then that desire and intercession started pulling me to the youth and I can feel them being pulled to me. It has started. It happens everywhere I go. I love it. I want it. I am looking forward to running with whatever God has for me here. The world affects me so you better believe I am going to affect the world. With great power comes great responsibility. Wink.
Someone sent me a text message today. I thought it was cool so I am sharing it with you. This is what it said.......
"Girls are like apples. The best ones are on the top of the trees. Most boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt, so instead they just get the rotten apples on the ground, not as good, but easy. So the apples on the top think there is something wronge with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait on the right boy to come along, the one who is able to climb to the top. "
Here are some thoughts from me about that....a glimps into the mind of me. Hehehe.If we are rotten apples, Jesus is the Ressurection and the Life. He can make us brand new apples on His tree. LOL. If you are a guy who eats the rotten apples then you can get with the Father through Christ Jesus and He will equip you to get the beauties on the top. Hope in Him and trust. Don't get out of your tree and if you are on the ground go for God's best in your life. =) Wink.
When I woke up this morning the birds were prophesying to me. When my alarm clock radio went off my Father was singing to me that I am not alone and He is with me.... I just wept and my little son, Mena, heard it too. We laughed and laughed at the birds talking and then I wept at the wonder and beauty of the love of God that passes understanding..... I love Him so much.
About 10 years ago I was lost and without hope. I was on drugs and suicidal. I had said the sinner's prayer many times in my life but I wanted to KNOW the God of the bible intimately and not just about Him and if I could not have and know Him like that then I wanted to die. I went outside on my patio and said, "God, Here I am. If this is real and if You are for me then I need to know NOW!" The Holy Spirit came on me and filled me like a wind (like a breath I breathed Him in) and almost blew me over on my butt (lol) and I heard a voice say "Yes I AM." I was like"Whoooahhh!" Suicide and drugs left me and from that moment on I have never been the same. Amen! He is my HOPE forever!
Thank You for Your wonderful power, Jesus. You're so great and mighty and You can do anything. You can take my life, and if I'm yielded, You can turn it into what You want it to be and make it into something beautiful. Like that song,
"Something beautiful, something good.
All of my confusion You understood;
All I had to offer You was brokenness and strife,
But You made something beautiful of my life."
I love God and want everyone to know Him
